House Party At Night, House of God in the Morning

Last night I went to my first French house party...it was hosted by a Canadian. I guess then, I went to a Canadian house party, but whatevs. There was bottomless wine, a variety of cheeses, and people from all over. It turns out our friend Mark is quite the socialite and collects friends all the time. During the course of the evening we played DJ, threw fake fruit around, tried to find someone a prince charming with a rollar blade fitting, modeled a bicycle helmet, Saint Patrick's Day hat, and sparkly red antenna; and tried not to lose our clothes. We had been told the previous parties seemed to see an inordinate amount of female nakedness, and we wanted no part in it. Seeing that Liz and I had already played 3 AM Twister, we decided that due to tiredness and previously made morning plans, that it was time to go when Twister made its inevitable appearance, so that's we did.

This morning we woke to almost spring time weather and the sun. It was a treat, especially because we went to breakfast/brunch at the tea garden at le Mosquée de Paris. I'm not sure if I mentioned our previously failed trip to this very Mosque, but we were thrilled when Liz's friend Mitchell took us here today. We had mint tea (which is AMAZING) and a variety of different patisseries that we were virtually forced to share with the sparrows and pigeons who had no qualms about getting in our personal space and on the tables to eat off your plate. It was really funny to watch them flit around from table to table and steal what they could. It was kind of terrifying, however, when one nibbled on the treat in Liz's hand! Anyway, this is what we got to see whilst we ate :)

Spring? Is that what we call this??

So, I have been told that spring has officially sprung, but I don't see any evidence of it. Okay, that's not entirely true. I have read and heard spring themed stories, created and helped kids make spring themed crafts, and I have made spring book displays, but that's as far as it goes. I am still wearing my winter coat and I haven't seen the sun in days. I am really over the winter. On a positive note, I am headed to Spain next week where the weather promises to be nicer.

In other news...I played big-shot at the library today in my boss's absence. Okay, it wasn't that big of a deal, especially because I had help, but it was still pretty exciting. Every other Thursday we 'sing to babies' during our Mother Goose Lapsit, and today was one of those Thursdays. If you've heard me sing, you can understand my nervousness...right? If you know my feelings towards small children, you can understand my general fear. ;) Celeste (that is my boss and the Children's Librarian at the American Library in Paris) has a really great, tried and true outline for her lapsits, so I was lucky enough to follow it. I did get to pick what songs and rhymes I got to do and I got to debut one of my FAVORITE children's books: I Ain't Gonna Paint No More by Karen Beaumont. Overall, I think it went pretty well.  I did garble the words to a finger play, but I don't think anyone cared. :)

I guess that's all the new news I have for now. I hope y'all are having a true spring where you are!

Bisous!!

 This is me with the "time to start tambourine" and my "baby" the chimpanzee. Why yes, I do cuddle with it and demonstrate both tickling and bouncing rhymes with him on my lap. Don't judge me.

Yeah, so THAT happened...

Sunday evening started off like any other...until I had my first three-way...on the metro.

Now don't be alarmed, it really wasn't as racy as all that. I was headed to a Burlesque when the metro I needed was delayed. Of course this meant the platform was much more crowded than usual. It didn't help that the train I was taking was also the one that brings passengers to the airport, so everyone had a bag...or three. When the train arrived and we all sardined our way in to the cars I got groped by a handful of strangers and/or luggage and THEN found myself nose to nose, hip to hip, with a very cozy, in love couple. I may have even tasted their saliva.

I was thrilled when my two stops went by and I got quickly remove myself from the love fest. I was not as excited to realize upon leaving the metro that I had NO idea how to get from the metro station to the theater. My ticket had a small map on it, but it was not super helpful. I realized when I feel lost I start trotting in random directions, which is really counterproductive. Being a smart girl I realized I should probably try to use the map, so I stopped to do so. A few minutes later a gentleman came up to me and asked what I was looking for. I showed him my map and the name of the theater. He looked at it for several minutes and then gave me directions. I should have been more hesitant due to the amount of time it took for him to figure the map out, because after 10 minutes in the direction he pointed I had a feeling I was even more lost. Oh, it doesn't help that this whole exchange happened in French...

I was the ticketholder for this Burlesque so I knew I needed to get to the theater! I decided to be brave and ask a stranger for directions...and if they speak English. My first candidate was a success! He pulled out his iPhone and gave me step by step instructions that got me right to the people I was meeting. Of course, I did have to run to cover lost ground, but I made it...on time...in true Brianna fashion. My friend Liz was not so lucky, but she has the benefit of a working phone and called for a train side pick up.  In true French fashion we entered the 9:00 show at 9:15 and didn't even miss curtain.

The show we saw translates to Garter Straps and Pianos, and it was a good time. We saw your usual TNA and some hokey comedy routines, but there were definitely a few surprises. One act involved a pole, but I tell you, this was not some amateur nonsense, this was a feat of Olympic strength and athleticism. What was nonsense was the host's obsession with nose candy, but all ill timed humor and personal distaste was pushed to the side when he dropped trou. Yes folks, this man, who I should add is not particularly good looking, fit, or endowed, got stark ass naked and hopped/danced around the stage for a long, hilarious few minutes. A funny, usually reserved lady once said "I don't understand why people streak. I get how women running naked can be sexy, since there is something to admire bouncing around, but no one wants to see some guy's tick tack swinging back and forth." I wonder if the pure hilarity would change her mind.

Anyway, so that's how I spent my Sunday night :)  

I'm Sorry, We Don't Speak Creep

Friday Night with the Ladies, A Play in One Act...

okay, not really, but humor me....

The Ladies: Me, Liz, and Lucy (our newWelsh friend)

Scene 1: Shakespeare and Company Bookstore
The Ladies meet upstairs and gather their belongings in order to set out for an evening of fun. The plan to see the Dalí exhibit at the Centre Georges Pompidou is discussed and they leave.

Scene 2: The corner of the street waiting for a walking signal 5 minutes later
Skeezy Guy (to Lucy): You're sexy.
blank looks given by The Ladies
Skeezy Guy (to Lucy again): You're sexy, hot, looking good.
The Ladies laugh
Skeezy Guy (to Liz): You too, don't be jealous, you look good too.
More laughs
light finally changes, The Ladies cross street
Skeezy Guy: I would like to get a drink with you.
ladies ignore guy and keep walking, he exits somewhere
Lucy: It's never the attractive ones.

So yes, this happened. The dialogue may not be verbatim, but it is pretty freaking close.

We did indeed make it to the Pompidou and only waited in line for a few short minutes to get inside.

While standing in a different line to buy our exhibit tickets we heard an announcement say that there is an hour wait at the entrance of the exhibit itself. By the time we would get in we would only have 40 minutes before it would close. We decided to try back in the future when we could really appreciate the exhibit. We were out and about with nothing to do...wrong...we decided if we couldn't see the strange, artistic world of Dalí, we would go to the magical world of Oz.



We went to the Forum des Halles to see the Oz: The Great and Powerful. I had never been to this weird underground, metro station, movie theatre, shopping mall, and it was pretty cool. The movie, however, was just mediocre, as was the popcorn and candy that we decided we had to have. I'm not saying don't go see it, I'm just saying don't have your hopes set too high.

Anyway, it was a civil, low key Friday, but it got us out of the apartment and exploring different parts of the city. Plus, we got hit on by a really creepy guy, and that's always a good time ;)

Bi-Polar Paris

I remember complaining about the weather in Columbia, how it rains too often, how it's too hot, how it can go from hot to cold in three days time, etc. Well, I take it back. I am not saying I was lying or that the weather in Columbia isn't stupid 90% of the time. I am saying, however, that the weather in Paris is worse.

If you read this blog regularly you will have heard about the BEAUTIFUL weather I have gotten to experience lately, most recently a day so nice we more or less laid out. Could you please tell me then how this happened two and half days later: 

Yes, you are seeing correcting, those are inches of snow on the ground. You see, thanks to construction and the constant presence of strange men on my balcony I don't know what the weather is actually like until I go downstairs. Well, Tuesday morning I got ready to go to the gym as usual and went downstairs. What did I see when I got to the door? Snow. Lots and lots of snow. Needless to say I did not go to the gym, but went promptly back upstairs and put my pajamas back on. While I did seek warmth in my apartment for a few extra hours I did still have to go work. Normally I walk, since it is a straight shot and takes less than an hour. I am not going to be trekking through the snow, so I decided it was a good day for the Metro. Well, little did I know that public transportation dislikes the snow as much as I do. I waited 40 minutes for a train thanks to delays and cancellations. I thought I was going to get lucky and that the screen showing upcoming trains was wrong, as one rolled in to the station, but I was wrong. You have no idea how crushing it is to stand on a dank, dark, and crowded train platform and watch an empty train pass through. On the up side, I did make it to work...just a little late. On the plus side, they don't pay me, so I guess I can show up late if I want...right? I mean, what are they going to do? Fire me? Just kidding...

That evening on the Russian Roulette RER return trip I was given the opportunity to jump my first metro turnstile, which of course, is illegal. I made it down the slippery stairs to my metro just as the train was arriving. I put in my ticket like a good public transport user, but the thing wouldn't turn. I tried again, and nothing. I said, well shit, and tried another new ticket...still nothing. At this point the train pulled off. I was less than thrilled and said well, expletive expletive expletive, and jumped the turnstile and waited 20 minutes for the next train. So yeah, it was not my day.

Wednesday morning rolled around and since it was no longer actively snowing and I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder from the metro, I decided to walk. This turned out to be an accident waiting to happen. Have you ever tried to walk on iced over cobblestone? I wouldn't recommend it. I slipped and slided 40% of the walk, trudged through sludge 40% of the walk, and the other 20% I allowed myself to get dripped on from building and trees in order to walk normally on patches of cleared sidewalk. Fortunately by the evening most everything had melted and it was a nice, normal walk home.

The latter part of the week's weather was high-30s low-40s and tonight, as you would imagine, my LEAST favorite kind of weather...rain, hence the reason I am writing a blog entry on a Saturday night. 

Speaking of rain...I did have plans this evening, and I went to them. By the time they were done it had started to lightly mist. I'm not made of sugar, so I decided it was okay to walk home. Of course the longer I walked the harder it started to rain. I made it back to the apartment in record time by the time it really started raining. I tried my electronic key thing....NOTHING. I said, you have got to be kidding me. My apartment is in an apartment building with a door on the street with no awning, so standing in the rain I thought, this is a problem. I tried just pushing the door, and fortunately, it opened. I tried the lights...NOTHING. Are you serious? I tried the next door...of course it is locked and only has an electronic key. I was stuck in the pitch black mail corridor of my building. Of course I was also starving. I went back out in to the rain in search of food and shelter. I eventually found both. I ate alone as slowly as possible to kill time and, when I went back to the apartment an hour later, the power was back on. I, however, was soaking wet and not thrilled.

Now I am trying to dry out and find the funny side of the story...

Sunny, Sloppy Saturdays

It's been a while mes amies, but things have been in full swing.

The American Library in Paris said its goodbyes to a great employee last Thursday, which meant we got to have 'company' drinks at a wine bar around the corner from the library called Sancerre. Seeing as that we work in a library, I don't get to do a whole lot of socializing with my coworkers, but this changed. I got to see that other people are just as snarky and sarcastic as me, some people are much more compassionate and patient, and others I was okay having not known about before. This wasn't a super exciting get together, but I like to tell people about free drinks and what not, so I am :-P Oh...wait...I did officially learn the word for 'peanuts' at this event, and that is pretty monumental since my French is NOT coming along like I thought it would. Cacahuetes...that's the word, btw.

Friday was a gray, but not cold day, so it was a perfect day to check out some close my sites. Liz and I decided that we should check out the Mosque in Paris. It was supposed to be a twenty minute walk from my apartment, but it turned out to be a little longer, since we took an educational detour, locating the Jardin du Plantes and the Museum of Natural History. We finally arrived outside this BEAUTIFUL Mosque and were so excited to enter the gardins when we saw the sign that said "No visits Friday." We looked this place up ahead of time and everything and the website happened to omit this little detail :( We were more than a little disappointed. We made the best of it though and ventured by the menagerie in the Jardin du Plantes. Rather than paying the 8 euro entry fee (which we intend to do on a day the sun is out) we successfully saw red pandas, ostriches, and some bearlike animal for free :)

We decided to try to have a cheap, leisurely Friday night at home...since my apartment is only comfortable for one person to hang out in and maybe two to sleep in, this meant going to the burbs. We made an amazing Italian dinner and watched episodes of Law and Order SVU while cuddling her family's two cats, Rose and Violet. It was the best way to spend a gross evening.

Saturday was a BEAUTIFUL day, which we spent outside taking in the sun. We first went to an open air market in Houilles, the suburb Liz lives in, and got to check out all the 'deals.' It was pretty cool, and we only got hassled by one guy. He was convinced that we both needed scarves with either animal print or star patterns. Post shopping we dug out some lawn chairs, drank sweet tea, and relaxed in the backyard in the bright warm sun. It was amazing. Spring had finally arrived....so I thought...more on this later, however.

As is our ritual, Saturday night was to include a pub crawl. This time it was more or less in my neighborhood, so that meant there was to be no mishaps with metros, or getting lost, etc. Too bad there is always room for other kinds of trouble. We successfully pre-gamed and smuggled booze on our persons this evening; Liz had a beer in her bag and I had a coke bottle of wine in mine (classy, we know), and we made it to the overcrowded, Canadian pub first stop at the perfect time...time to leave. The second spot was much roomier, and it was here that we got to meet some interesting characters.

1) The American that makes people hate Americans...aka Sorostitot Bonehead aka Slut.... this young lady reigns from the state of Florida, where she told us (within the first 15 seconds of conversation) that her family was wealthy and owned more slaves than the president at the time (over 500) and that she was proud of it. As you can imagine this astonished everyone in the circle. She sought redemption and understanding from Liz and I upon learning that we were from 'the south,' but we quickly told her she was mistaken and that that IS NOT a normal or acceptable conversation topic.  She then went on to tell us how she found anyone with a little authority attractive and that she now wanted to get with the pub crawl leader. I mean really? As you can imagine, I promptly removed myself from her presence. Only to find myself in conversation with another character...
2) The Macho, Know it All, Smooth Talking Looker. This fellow is from Canada and has been living in various places promoting, teaching, and practicing MMA. Don't get me wrong, he was an attractive guy, but he dropped more names, places, and bullshit than Wikipedia. He turned down a free shot because he was 'running a marathon tomorrow,' yet continued to get wasted on beer and then vodka cranberries. I mean, really? Come on...He also had the nerve to say that the previously mentioned young lady could not possible be telling the truth when she said she studies ballet because her body wasn't muscular enough. Yeah, since she is the liar here...again...I didn't stay in this circle long...

By the third location Liz and I found ourselves with our now friend Mark (who we met at previous crawls), a Moroccan, and a very attractive doctor (originally from upstate NY, but working for Doctors Without Borders in Korea). It was in this third bar that things got to be a little shady, yet equally awesome. The awesome parts included meeting and speaking Spanish with the doctor, finding relatively cheap drinks, trying tequila flavored beer, watching a bartender put on a hotdog costume, and getting to sing popular 80s songs. No, I really can't elaborate, sorry. I will tell you that during this pub crawl everyone decided to rebel against the cheesy yellow name tags and adopt a new identity. At this bar, however, we chose to swap with the wrong gentleman and he used his towering stature to get his name tag back. I literally found myself running through the bar to get away from him. He eventually gave up his drunken pursuit, and I was relieved. I didn't quite get away unscathed, however, because by this time my 3.5 inch Steve Madden boots had not only murdered my feet, but had also picked up a shard of glass from a previously shattered liquor bottle, which I decided I should remove...thus, cutting my finger :( Fortunately I had a Mickey Mouse bandaid in my purse. (see shoe and bandaid below)

We left this bar after taking some apple flavored shot and walked what felt like a billion blocks to our final destination. It was 1:30 at this point, and as Liz and I learned the hard way, time for Metro riders to depart. The doctor and the Moroccan were the ones with transportation needs, and we were sad to see the doctor go, but Mr. Morocco was getting on our nerves by being overly chatting and handsy. Rather than saying our goodbyes to our doctor friend and heading to the last bar, our friend Mark invited us back to his place. Fortunately nature called Mr. Morocco and we were able to make a quick getaway while he was answering. So, we left.

This was the point in the evening where I decided it was a good idea to walk around Paris barefoot...well, not barefoot, but in just tights. When I saw my black feet the next morning I just laughed. We arrived at Mark's apartment just in time to almost watch a brawl at the bar next door. Once we made it safely inside we opened a couple of bottles of wine and played the best American board game ever....Twister. After we had contorted ourselves in unspeakable positions we opted to just discuss all the important issues in the world, like couch surfing, open relationships, etc. ;)
Eventually it was time to call it a night and Liz and I went home. During the short walk we recounted parts of the evening and hypothesized the hour. I thought it was around 3, she hoped earlier. Imagine our surprise when the clock said 4:30 when we got home. Oops....

Oh well, I didn't have to be at work until 1:00, and we had a pretty fun night.

Just A Little Walk in the 'Hood...

I sure am glad I left y'all when I did earlier today, because it was truly beautiful out. It was around 50 degrees, which is by far the warmest it has been and the sun was shining. I set out in the uber-comfy not fashionable outfit of Nikes, yoga pants, a designer tee, a North Face and the ever present accessory, a scarf. 15 minutes in to my jaunt I realized it was warm enough to ditch the jacket! My arms saw the sun for the first time in ages!

Where did I go you ask? I went to three of the super famous hot spots that no more than a five minute walk from my doorstep: Notre Dame, the Pantheon, and the Jardin du Luxembourg. It was actually funny that I went to Jardin du Luxembourg today because I was wearing the same shirt, scarf, and jacket that I wore on my first visit there in 2010. (William Boland will appreciate this memory and detail). Anyway, I am sure you would rather see what I saw....right?

Jardin du Luxembourg 

More of the Jardin

More of the Jardin

Just one of the BEAUTIFUL statues at the Jardin du Luxembourg!

Random angle shot of Notre Dame (Trying not to be too touristy with my camera!)

Notre Dame

One of the coolest sights in Paris...A bridge with personalized
locks left by many of its visitors. Yes, I plan on leaving one :) 

More Notre Dame

Okay friends, sorry my pictures aren't the best quality, but I was trying not to be the super annoying touristy type. Also, my camera is kind of a piece ;) Oh well, I hope you enjoy! There will be more photos now that I am not constantly wearing gloves!

Bisous!